Finance Saviours

Whether we want to admit it or not, we’ve probably all experienced a period in our lives when our finances were quite royally f*cked. Melissa Browne is an entrepreneur, accountant, financial advisor, author, speaker and self-confessed shoe addict who wants to share her financial wisdom with Gen X and Y women.

Talking openly about our finances with our friends and family is something that most of us are just not comfortable doing. Discussions of money and financial matters are often perceived as being ‘rude’ or ‘invasive’. However, Entrepreneur and Financial Advisor Melissa Browne believes learning to speak openly and transparently about money may be the first step in improving our financial situations.

This is where the idea for her third book Unf*ck Your Finances came from. Browne wanted to create a book that would speak frankly to Gen X and Y women about getting their finances in check. The reasoning for this aim at Gen X and Gen Y is as Browne writes in chapter one, “most of us weren’t taught about managing our finances, whether by our parents at home, our schools or universities.”

We spoke to Browne to discuss how we can become more open with talking about money and how she managed to get her own financial difficulties in check.

Why did you write this book?

I’d been writing columns for newspapers for about four years and I wrote a lot about financial advice for young women and I realised i wanted to be able to help more. I kept seeing people having the same issues and problems and a lot of it is just a psychological problem of not being open with our finances so I wanted to start a discussion on being more open with money.

The name of this book is quite attention-grabbing, was the name done purely for shock value?

I wanted people to pick up the book and also kind of wake people up. There’s a lot of shame around not having your finances sorted so I wanted to kind of call it out a little bit.

Why did you choose to aim this book at Gen X and Y women?

A lot of women in these generations feel shame about where they are financially. There’s this notion that a women wanting money is not sexy or not feminine but money is just another tool to get you to where you want to be. I think as women we’re so good at talking about so much with our friends and we need to start talking about this as well.

Do you feel that women aren’t taken as seriously when it comes to finances?

I think [as a woman] expectations are lowered and you slip under the radar when it comes to finances. I started my business when I was in my 20’s and while I may not have been taken seriously, I think it gave me the advantage of being able to prove people wrong.

Was there ever a time in your own life where your finances were f*cked?

Oh my god yes! When I was a teenager and got my first credit card it was a real eye-opener. I was on a total spending spree – for example, I’m one of those
people who can’t have chocolate in my house because I’m terrible with it and I will eat it all and I was the same with a credit card. So I limit my exposure to credit cards now and only have one. Figuring out how you behave with money is important. More recently, at 33 years old I broke up with my first husband and I really found myself in a big hole that took a few years to come out of. [During that time] I moved into a flat with six friends, it was a big change.

What was that like? Going from being married to living in a flat again?

I never expected I would be living in a flat in my 30’s. I had the smallest bedroom – there was mould on the ceiling and I was so upset, like, “how did I end up here?” It’s funny, when you find yourself in that position you realise what you don’t actually need. It made me realise we’re not defined by what we have.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I’m a big fan of Brene Brown, she’s a shame researcher, she said something once where she talks about how nowadays we’re constantly being told we have to act and be a certain way but if you peel it back, look in the mirror and can feel happy with the person that you see, that’s all that matters.

What do you think the secret to your success is?

For me, I think it’s just living my own life. If I was living the life my parents wanted me to live I’d be so unhappy! I’ve chosen to live my life differently, I’ve
designed it and I think a lot of people don’t live that way.

Who are the women that inspire you?

Women who have bounced back. Some of them are clients, I’m also inspired by my grandparents, the resilience of women like that is amazing.

How can we become more open with discussing our finances?

I think it’s the same as conversations about sex – it used to be very taboo to talk about sex but now it’s more accepted. So it’s as easy as taking a girlfriend out for coffee and asking them how they’re doing so well financially or saying let’s have a monthly chat about our finances. If we just start doing it, it’ll be more normal.

Why don’t we talk about our finances?

It’s just considered impolite – sex, politics and finances. But it isn’t rude, crass or impolite, so start talking about it in your friend and family groups. We want to start asking questions around money.

You Are Not What You Have

In the chapter entitled You Are Not What You Have Browne discusses the attitude older generations have towards money and possessions and how and why we should try to change our perceptions of material things. “We need to kick the concept of ‘you are what you have’ out of our heads completely,” Browne writes.

What I loved about my grandma, my grandpop and my nana is that they never had a lot of money (both sets of grandparents were on the age pension) – but they also never seemed to go without. I’ve been thinking of them a lot lately and it occurred to me that their experience with money and their inherent gumption is something we can learn from today.

Particularly if we’re tempted to believe that we are what we have. That’s because my grandparents had so little. Yet they had so much. They lived full, complete, extraordinary lives. In all honesty they were, are and always will be, my heroes.

So in case you didn’t have grandparents like mine, here are some financial lessons learned from my amazing set that will hopefully help you if you’re stuck in the trap of needing more and more stuff.

1. DON’T SPEND MORE THAN YOU EARN.

My grandparents didn’t grow up with credit, so they couldn’t overspend. There was less choice and less opportunity to get into financial trouble, which meant they became incredibly creative because they were forced by necessity to do so. It also meant that my grandma and grandpop were somehow able to save money while on the pension and still go away in their caravan every winter. Yes, I know. Total financial rock stars.

2. ALWAYS TAKE HOME LEFTOVERS.

I distinctly remember the horror on a boyfriend’s face the first time my grandparents wrapped up their second piece of fish at the RSL Club to take home for dinner that night. What I didn’t explain to him was that they chose that dish purposefully so they would have leftovers. Restaurants often serve far more than we can eat, and if we’re not choosing to share dishes then where’s the shame in asking to take home the leftovers? It’s something we do at the pizza shop, so why not at Spice Temple? Think they won’t? I can attest to the fact that they’re very happy to do so – and the food tastes just as good the next day.

3. MAKE YOUR OWN SOUPS, STEWS AND OTHER MEALS.

Yes, it means being organised, but cooking up a batch of food on a Sunday night is much cheaper than buying lunch every day. It’s often healthier too, especially if you’re comparing something like home-cooked bone broth to packet soup. My grandparents used to have a chest freezer where they would store cooked meals and leftovers so they would always have food for those days where they either didn’t want to cook or had people turn up unexpectedly.

4. ENJOY HOLIDAYS AND TRIPS AWAY SENSIBLY.

My grandma and grandpop used to jump in their caravan and take off north to warmer climates for up to six months of the year. They’d travel in their caravan and stay at free sites or with friends and family. Too often when I talk with families they tell me if they take a cheap trip to Queensland they can’t avoid taking their kids to the expensive theme parks, regardless of whether they can afford it or not. Really? Who’s running the ship? It’s about sitting your kids down and giving them choices. This might be Queensland beaches and no theme parks – or stay at home. Involve them in the conversation so they understand. Or if you absolutely must include the theme parks, then go away every second year and stay at home on the off year.

5. SHOP VINTAGE – OR MAKE YOUR OWN.

Throughout my teenage years and into my twenties, I enjoyed many afternoons with my nana shopping in secondhand stores. Looking back, I didn’t have many clothes so this was both a social outing and a necessity. Again, my nana was on the pension, but she absolutely loved clothes and jewellery and would hit the secondhand stores every week. Or she would make them herself. of clothes, removing sleeves, re-heeling a shoe or adding a rubber sole. Remaking or repairing an old classic might sound revolutionary, but it’s what our grandparents did. OK, they probably did the mending themselves – but I can’t sew to save my life so I’ve found a great tailor and shoe-repairer instead.

7. GROW YOUR OWN.

I remember the joy of walking into the backyard with my grandpop to pick vegetables from the garden for that day’s meals. Whether it’s growing your own vegetables in the backyard, growing some lettuce and herbs in a pot on your verandah or keeping a few chickens for eggs, there is enormous satisfaction and a substantial cost having through harvesting your own food.

8. PLAY TOGETHER.

When we visited my grandparents we would eat dinner together and then play card games afterwards instead of watching TV. They couldn’t afford Foxtel but we never felt we went without, as we would play card games for hours while munching on home-made goodies or white bread with jam and cream.

9. SHARE.

We have houses and sheds stacked with things we may only ever use occasionally. Instead of buying everything new, why not rent, share, borrow or swap instead. When I was growing up, my mum was in a babysitter’s club where they swapped hours rather than paying for a babysitter. There are so many sites popping up now where you can rent,swap or share online from toys to clothes to tools and more.

10. BE OK WITH WHO YOU ARE.

This might seem strange, but my grandparents trusted themselves. They knew who they were. Maybe it’s because they’d been through so much, so young, that they didn’t need to consume in order to have a sense of self. Now, I’m not suggesting that you go and find traumatic experiences to imbue yourself with a sense of self – but it is about starting to settle into who you are. Realising that who you are is enough and the latest bag won’t add to that. No matter how pretty it is.

MELISSA’S TOP TIPS FOR FIXING YOUR FINANCES FAST

Do a 30-day detox:

30 days where you choose what not to spend money on is a great way to assess your spending habits. For me, I detox on clothes and shoes. It helps you realise the reasons behind why we’re spending the way we are.

Figure out your goals:

What do you want to do with your money? Is there something in particular you want to save for? Having these goals in mind can help you to save your money more successfully.

Make your bank account helpful:

Having all your money in one account is hard. By adding in some more accounts for saving it can motivate you to put some money aside each week instead of spending all of it.

Unf*ck Your Finances by Melissa Browne, published by
Allen & Unwin, RRP $27.99